Musings of a Country Squirrel in Tinseltown

I love my dog–I really do; but for every piece of discarded food she can track back to somewhere on my block a week after it fell, she can’t seem to remember five seconds after burning her belly that if she lies down, it’s going to happen again.

My morning alarm is rather…unusual.

Look, how could I not try and land a job that I truly have the knack for?

Charlie’s stealing his thunder.

I make no secret that I’m an avid video game player, but this influx of motion control not only from the Wii but now the upcoming XBox 360′s Kinect and Playstation 3′s Move is enough to make me flail my arms up in frustration.

Recently though Sony released a few models of their wand-and-ball controller to individuals, with onscreen illustrations to instruct how to whip it about to make you feel empowered…and not like a dork (though anyone looking in your front window will still think that as you waggle your controller about), which inspired artist Androsko to contribute some additional, overlooked instructions.

And yet, I felt they still hadn’t covered all the bases just yet, and felt compelled to add to the compendium:

By the power of Team Venture!

It’s weird, 2010. First my Chicago Blackhawks manage to get a city that all but virtually ignores them behind ‘em (including myself) enough to win the Stanley Cup, then I find the allure of waking up at 6:30 to the sound of vuvuzela horns appealing to watch the U.S. soccer team win their first bracket since 1930 in the World Cup, and I even manage to take a passing interest in tennis of all things.

Maybe it’s because the Cubs are just having another typical season and I’m trying to distract myself until the Bears are back on the field again…

Living a life that’s been given to you as a raw deal isn’t easy, but today’s character made the best of it; flim-flamming, bending the truth over backwards, and a passionate love for the music of the city he was raised in. A set of charming eyes certainly didn’t hurt either.

“Joliet” Jake Blues.

Today, June 16, 2010 marks the 30th anniversary that Jake and his surrogate brother Elwood took upon a mission “from God” to raise the $5000 needed to save the orphanage they grew up in the dingy confines of Calumet City, Illinois, went from the south end of the state to the north with the entire Illinois State Police, a band of country singers, a troop of white supremacists, the Midwest division of the U.S. Army and one sorely pissed-off ex-bride to-be chasing right behind them through the great city of Chicago, home of the Blues.

The Blues Brothers was the first film to break barriers–literally and figuratively–in the city, as newly-elected Mayor Jane Byrne agreed to open the doors to the film production, shutting down streets for the legendary car chase, and even granted the wish that the Bluesmobile could be driven through the corner windows of the Daley Plaza–but once, and only once. Former mayor Richard J. Daley rarely ever allowed any film to be made within the city, let alone the very idea of blocking off an avenue–but Byrne wasn’t too thrilled with the old administration, and gladly allowed just about anything and everything the film wanted to happen.

As such, Chicago became a city that was desirable to film within. Thousands of films to date have been within it’s limits to some degree, further chronicling the city’s growth and beauty decades later.

As a born-and-bred Chicagoan, I can say it is a definitive movie that really makes the city as fun and as tough as it’s always been.
Blues Brothers 2000… well, we don’t talk about that one.

Men of action are not to be taken lightly. They come prepared, and they mean business. They take matters into their own hands. Screw the rules; if there’s a problem, they’ll fix it, and quick.
Today’s subject is no exception…only his problems are precambrian, subterranean, transmogrifying, asexual giant worms.

Burt Gummer.

Originally introduced as a supporting character in Tremors, Michael Gross’s gung-ho survivalist returned for two sequels and the TV series of the same name, thus becoming the primary know-it-all when it came to the ancient predators. There isn’t a gun he won’t fire, no tactic too wild to try, and no paranoid theory he won’t humor.
In fact, there’s only one thing that leaves the man stunned beyond words:

I reckon the world don’t need to move as fast as it’s in an all-fired hurry to. Computers, internets, even them dang automobiliocars and some such. Take one feller that lives up in the Carolina hills: don’ take much to get by, don’ need much to begin with.

Snuffy Smith.

Now anyone that reads or read Snuffy’s hijinks in the comics section always read it as “Barney Google and Snuffy Smith”. But Where’s this Barney Google fella? Well, it seems back in 1934 when Barney and his race horse Spark Plug were the focus the strip, they took a trip into the North Carolina mountains where he met a moonshine swiggin’, shotgun firin’ hillbilly we all know and love today. The thing is though comic creator Billy DeBeck ended up staying in the hills with Snuffy instead, leaving Barney for the most part nowhere to be seen. It still remains a rare sighting when the original character pops up to this day. Odds are they’ll remain that way for a long time.

Sure, it’s easy to be the hero, running in guns a-blazing, save the day, and ride off into the sunset. But who do you think got that hotshot there and back to begin with in one piece?

Sgt. Linwood ‘Pooch’ Porteous.

As the man on the move of The Losers, Pooch could take a kite, tie it to a fuel truck, aim it up the side of a volcano and light the fuel on fire if it meant getting his gang from point A to point B. Air, road, water, there’s nothing he can’t drive (or usually wreck) and end up walking away from.